I’m having this vision: SEC commissioner Greg Sankey speeding down the highway toward a College Football Playoff site and getting pulled over by the rankings police. Sankey begins sweating. The suit from behind approaches the car.
“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to turn around. The Cheez-It Bowl is in the other direction.”
“Excuse me, officer. Do you know who I am?”
“Yes. You are the poobah of the SEC. You are a rich and powerful man with many leather-bound books. Now turn around.”
“There must be some mistake. I think you’re looking for the Sun Belt. I’M FROM THE SEC! We’ve won the last four national championships! Georgia is the two-time defending champion! We’ve won six of the last eight, and 13 of the last 17, and I can’t remember before that but it really doesn’t matter because I was in another conference, and nobody knew my name. Now I must go or I’ll be late!”
“Sir, calm down. This was a difficult season, and there’s only room for four teams. The rankings committee felt Texas had a strong case, and …”
“No! We’re the SEC! It just means more! I even put it on all the billboards! Don’t make me turn around! We are the supreme beings! We mock other conferences at network power lunches! Please! Here, take a mini-helmet. Do you like pie? Momma makes a mean pie. Apple, cherry, pecan …”
“Sir, please let go of my shirt.”
Welcome to lobbying season.
