It was the Instagram comment you couldn’t help but cringe at. Barbra Streisand wrote on a recent Melissa McCarthy Instagram post: “Give him my regards did you take Ozempic?”
Questions may have swirled in your mind: Is it a mistake? Is it a genuine question? Is it insensitive? Is it OK to ask someone if they’re on weight loss drugs, like Ozempic? Both stars have since spoken out.
“OMG – I went on Instagram to see the photos we’d posted of the beautiful flowers I’d received for my birthday! Below them was a photo of my friend Melissa McCarthy who I sang with on my Encore album. She looked fantastic!” Steisand wrote on X on Tuesday. “I just wanted to pay her a compliment. I forgot the world is reading!” McCarthy followed up in an Instagram video: “The takeaway: Barbra Streisand knows I exist, she reached out to me and she thought I looked good! I win the day.”
Still, experts say that those curious about someone’s weight loss – no matter how well-meaning they may be – should tread carefully, and in some cases not ask at all.
“Talking about appearance and asking questions about someone’s weight has become so normalized in our society that we don’t even think about the effects these have on the person being asked,” says Elizabet Altunkara, director of education at the National Eating Disorders Association. “Asking about someone’s weight or making comments about their appearance perpetuates toxic diet culture and can harm people with body image issues, disordered eating or an eating disorder.”
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‘Medical issues are private’
You’re not a bad person if you want to know how someone loses weight. It’s common to ask, “partly out of curiosity, and partly because others may want to follow their lead and get some tips on weight loss,” says Deborah Carr, director of the Center of Innovation in Social Science at Boston University and a professor of sociology. “In this case, however, Melissa wasn’t posting about her weight loss; she was sharing a photo of herself in a beautiful pastel dress, on her way to honor her friend at a gala.” The focus on McCarthy’s body reflects a larger societal issue, where people, women especially, with fuller figures receive attention for that more than anything else.
“It is always inappropriate to ask someone about whether or not they are on medications to treat obesity,” says Dr. Fatima Cody Stanford, an obesity medicine physician scientist at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School. “We never ask patients if they’re on medication’s to treat depression, diabetes, hypertension and the list goes on. We feel that it is within our purview to ask people about whether or not there are medications to treat obesity because obesity is a disease that you wear.”
Keep in mind, too, “that someone’s medical issues are private and should be not be commented upon publicly or privately,” adds Dr. Melanie Jay, associate professor in the Department of Medicine at New York University Langone Health.
Asking about Ozempic specifically could be seen as judgmental. “There’s the pervasive and problematic belief that those who have larger body sizes lack self-control or discipline and overeat,” Carr adds. “The flip side is that people who lose weight through medication rather than diet or exercise are believed to be ‘taking shortcuts’ and ‘not doing the work.'”
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How to talk about Ozempic, weight loss
Carr recommends people stop judging others’ bodies and how they lost weight. But if you do want to ask someone about their journey, give them context: “Perhaps mention that we’re interested in losing weight, and we thought they might have some tips given their own recent weight loss. It’s also important to ask about their other health tips – which they may surely have – so that we’re not reducing a person’s existence to the single indicator of their body weight.”
Jay suggests saving these conversations for close friends or family who are open to sharing information about weight loss drugs. Cody Stanford adds: “Unless someone directly tells you this information, it is really none of our business. If someone is curious about strategies to address weight, and you would like to ask a friend or family member, you might consider approaching them with your own struggles. You might explain how you have had difficulty and would like to learn more about what strategies one could take to address the chronic disease of obesity.”
And remember to double check before you post anything online.
Contributing: KiMI Robinson
