To get myself in the right mood, I’ve been considering my most hurtful England memories of all time. Not disappointments, but moments which left an emotional bruise. So:
5. 1993, Ronald Koeman and the Netherlands. Probably my first experience of footballing injustice. I asked my mother if I could not go to school the next day and that felt appropriate. She didn’t entirely agree.
4. 2002, Ronaldinho. Because everyone knew the treatment David Seaman would suffer afterwards. I was also still a smoker in those days and had gone through a packet of 20 by 10am. Not a good day.
3. 2021, Jordan Pickford saves, Bukayo Saka immediately misses. A savage seesaw – after which I had to a Tifo Football livestream with a gleeful, gloating JJ Bull.
2. 1998, Beckham and Batty. Genuinely, one of the finest defensive performances England have ever given at an international tournament. Watch it back now; it has not aged at all. Don’t watch beyond 120 minutes, though.
- 1996. Devastating. Football has a wicked sense of humour and nobody who remembers that tournament will tell you otherwise: it draws you in, convinces you that a happy ending is inevitable and then… well, then Andreas Moller is prancing towards you, reveling in your despondency.
Some personal trivia: I’ve never watched that shootout back in its entirety. Pathetic, but still true.