It’s been going down in the land of celebrity matrimony as some of fans’ favorite couples have decided they are not sticking around for the ‘worse’ part of their vows.
In the past two weeks, Jeezy filed for divorce from Jeannie Mai and Teyana Taylor announced she and her husband Iman Shumpert were “separated and have been for a while.” Both revelations took many fans by surprise, as they believed each couple to be happy.
In Jeezy’s case, the hip-hop artist and entrepreneur cited the marriage being “irretrievably broken” as his reason for divorcing his wife of two years.
The estranged couple share a 1-year-old daughter, Monaco, whom Mai posted a sweet video with to Instagram just days before the filing. In the clip, the mother-daughter duo prayed and congratulated Jeezy on the success of his recent book, “Adversity for Sale.”
Meanwhile, Taylor, a multi-hyphenate talent and entrepreneur, denied infidelity had anything to do with her and Shumpert’s split. She addressed rumors of cheating in an Instagram post that included a photo of the two. In the caption, she referred to the former New York Knicks guard as her “bestie” and said they remain close.
Infidelity rumors have also plagued the 15-year marriage of rappers Papoose and Remy Ma, the latter of whom has allegedly been cheating with a battle rapper.
Add to those the recent high-profile divorces of Eva Marcille and Michael T. Sterling, Tia Mowry and Cory Hardrict, Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness, Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner, etc. and some fans said they are losing hope that anyone can truly be happily married these days.
“Teyana Taylor and Iman Shumpert have separated after 7 years of marriage. Damn no marriage is surviving 2023,” one Twitter user wrote.
“First Tia Mowry and Cory, then Jeannie Mai and Jeezy, and now Teyana Taylor and Iman. Divorce is in the air like never before,” another echoed. “Teyana Taylor and Iman Shumpert breaking up proves that the only thing that’s real is J. Cole going triple platinum with no features,” a third chimed in.
“This was my last hope to believe in forever onG [short for On God],” an Instagram user commented under Taylor’s post.
It’s understandable to be disappointed by the breakups of fans’ favorite couples, but it does raise one important question. Is it wise to look at celebrities as the blueprint for “couple goals”?
Author and life coach Marcia Baczynski cautions against using celebrities to measure marital happiness. In an article advising how one should choose their relationship role models, Baczynski addressed how many celebrity couples have additional pressures weighing in on their relationships. She added those with longevity typically keep either a low profile or are very private.
“The challenge about emulating power couples is that the demands of power and celebrity in themselves create stresses in relationships that can be challenging to navigate,” Baczynski wrote.
“Despite the attention these couples get in the news and the tabloids, we often don’t know very much about how the insides of their relationships work. The trappings of a fancy wedding or the hotness of the people involved often has little bearing on whether the actual relationship itself is something you might want to emulate.”
All of these celebrity divorces and separations should serve as a reminder: do not make any couple your “relationship goals”. Your goals for your relationship cannot be based on others. They have to be based on you + your significant other.
— Adara Sherron, M.A. (@adarathexplorer) September 18, 2023
Atlanta-based couple Clifford and Muriel Hepburn, agreed that celebrity couples may have added pressures that make navigating marriage more difficult. Both 71, the duo will celebrate their 46th wedding anniversary in November. If you include the time they dated, they have been together for a total of 53 years.
While they acknowledged that people often look at them as inspiration, they cautioned against idolizing or trying to “copycat” anyone’s marriage, not just those of celebrities.
“You’re looking at people and saying they have a great marriage, but you don’t really know them,” Muriel told Atlanta Black Star. “You’re trying to emulate something or live somebody’s life and you don’t really know their story. … If you try to pick up what we do, it may not work. People need to be their own unique self and be like God designed them to be.”
“You don’t know all the ins and outs of any marriage and if you’re not willing to do what that ‘ideal’ couple is doing [to be happy], that’s a problem in itself,” Clifford chimed in. “If you don’t understand or know what it takes to be like that couple, then I suggest you be you. What defines a good marriage is you figuring out what works for you and your spouse.”
This is why it’s so important to protect your heart! Stop idolizing people’s marriages/relationships!! Especially these celebrities! Mind YOUR marriage people. Omg. 😵💫 It’s heartbreaking to see how many people are “affected” by recent news of celebrity divorces.
— Ïka (@AllThingsIka) September 21, 2023
Their daughter, Dr. Mariel D. Hepburn, 37, agreed with her parents. She and her husband Dr. Channing J. Hampton, 40, have been married for six years and together for 15 years overall. The two physicians met while attending Morehouse School of Medicine in 2007 and remained close while doing their respective residencies in different cities.
Mariel credits her Christian faith and her parents’ example with helping her choose a compatible partner she not only loves but likes. “He reminded me of my daddy, and my father is the greatest man I’ve ever known,” Mariel told Atlanta Black Star when asked what drew her to Channing.
Mariel was also careful to note that she realizes Channing is not her father and they don’t try to be “carbon” copies of her parents.
“I don’t think we should try to model ourselves off of anybody except Jesus. There are people we can admire and try to take traits from, but I don’t think there is one couple that we should look at and say, ‘Oh, I want my marriage to be just like theirs,’ because no one is perfect,” Mariel said.
“The difference between me and Channing might not be the same difference between Mommy and Daddy. Just because I come from them doesn’t mean I can be a carbon copy of them. The person that you’re meant for is going to be the person that you’re meant for.”
Channing agreed with his wife, saying he empathized with the burden celebrities must feel trying to navigate marriage in the public eye, because as doctors in a small town, he and Mariel are often stopped when they go out. He cautioned against trying to “keep up with the Joneses,” particularly when one doesn’t really know the inner workings of how a couple manages their daily lives.
“If you’re looking at these celebrities and trying to mimic their lives, that can be a big financial burden and put a strain on your marriage, which we know is one of the biggest reasons for divorce,” Channing told Atlanta Black Star. “I think it’s dangerous territory because they live a totally different lifestyle.”
He also advised married couples to prioritize their spouses and find a rhythm that works for their unique situation.
“It really all comes down to how you balance things,” Channing added. “The higher up you go in your profession, the more that is required of you. I don’t know if people even realize how blurred the lines can become between work and personal lives, so we have to be careful to set boundaries.”
The consensus on whether it’s wise to look at celebrities as the blueprint for marriage is a resounding no. They are human just like everyone else, but their fame and celebrity status often expose them to sets of circumstances the average person doesn’t have to endure.
The overall message from these happily married couples can be summed up as this: Don’t get caught up in the hype of other people’s marriages, celebrity or not.
We only know what we are allowed to see, and there is a wealth of misinformation circulating online. So it’s best to be yourself, find your vibe and design your marriage in a way that doesn’t just look good to others but is good for you. The chances to go from the altar to a lifetime are greater that way.